paragraphs floating through the mind.

For the past few days I've been really focusing on decorating my new space...the den. My first "big girl" apartment. It's interesting how much money and time I am willing to spend to make something look just the way I want it. As a pisces, I am very influenced by the environment in which I am placed, and it is very important to me that I love the space in which I reside. I already love the den, but decorating my room...everything that goes into it...it's exhausting. I've been antiquing, shopping, browsing, haggling, budgeting, imagining, drawing, planning, and creating this area for weeks and it's finally all coming together. I don't move for another two months but once my job picks up a bit more, I'll have absolutely no time to think about the move. It's interesting that humans will spend so much energy on "sprucing" things up. I care way too much. Just something I've been up to.

All weekend, I've been without internet access. And it wasn't terrible. I thought I would die. Everytime I thought, "Oh I can look that up real quick!" and got dissapointed...I remembered things like the phone book and the home phone...all the information you need is right there. The internet is a wonderful thing, but good grief today's society is completely obsessed. I mean, look at me right now..I'm in a coffee shop/ internet cafe, blogging about the internet on the internet, when I should be doing homework on the internet, staring at other people who are working/playing on the internet...our world is technology obsessed. I feel like I am going to implement a "internet free day" once a week when it doesn't interfere withs chool or work and see how that plays out.

Coffee is a wonderful thing. It really does the trick. Just in case you didn't know. It works so much better than tea. Although I love tea and I don't want to hurt it's feelings, coffee is just so wonderful in the morning. Freshly ground whole bean hazlenut coffee to be exact. If you don't know what this magic bliss tastes like...I feel bad for you. Go get some and a coffee grinder (yeah I know, a little extra work...) and get to it. You won't be sorry.

I like cooking...and creating foods. Yesterday I made the best cheese dip ever. No I will not post the recipe because it is a secret and I kinda just want everyone to fawn over it before I publish it. It is delicious...and sets taste buds on fire. My mom gave me a few cookbooks to take to the den. I feel like there are lots of kitchen adventures ahead.

living, loving, and always looking up.
K

Egg White Omelette

Ah, life. Aren't you interesting? You throw us these twists and turns and try to get us to veer off the path...but you're not going to get me that easily. Go with the flow. Take it easy. Let the universe decide. Don't stress. Give it to God. I finally understand what all of these things mean and I am LOVING the results. I love life right now, twists and all. And it keeps getting better and better.

I'm making some big changes this summer...or trying to. I'm attempting to rejuvinate my mind, body, and soul in order to prep for this crazy life ahead. Home is a good place for that I think. These are good changes though...cooking more, having three vegetarian days a week, sticking with actual organization in my life, and for the first time in almost 6 years, I am without a man in this lil' town I call home. Feels weird (liberating) to be here by myself, but I'm liking being with just me a lot more than I expected. I love being happy.

Now for some much needed sleep :)

"Isn't life grand?"
K

p.s. xoxo

p.s.s. egg white omelettes= amazing.

statements, lists, facts, events. life.

Go to the nearest park in the middle of the night. Lay in the middle of the pavement and look up. Look at all the stars. Breathe.
I don't enjoy being by myself.
I feel the best when I'm dancing.
I like sweating.
Sarcasm is one of my favorite qualities in a man.
If you can make me laugh...really, really giggle...you're golden.
Hot tea is wonderful at night.
Humidity is good for your skin, bad for your hair.
Church is amazing.
GOD is amazing.
I believe that when a young person dies, for what seems like a horribly unfair reason, something worse was coming, and God chose to bring them home where they could know nothing but joy instead.
I hope to have a relationsip like the people in Everybody Loves Raymond when I'm older. They really are a cute couple.
Chocolate heals.
So does neosporin.
For some reason, I don't think that little 14 year old lifeguard would be able to save my life.
I hate online spanish classes.
The Rep is one of my favorite places. I can't help but smile when I walk in the building, just from the smell and the memories it holds for me. It's nice to be back.
My mom is incredible.
Life is wonderful.
Summer is phenomenal.
Dance in the rain.
Contentment in oneself is freeing.
LOVE LIFE.

Let your soul fly free, let that spirit shine for all to see.

I have a wedding on Saturday...I do love weddings :)
K

oh...oh hey :)

The casual, "Oh hey." It's my go-to greeting. Any person that knows me will surely recognise this, because it always works in every situation. You got the traditional happy, "Oh HEY!" when you havent seen someone for awhile, you're meeting someone, etc. You got the sassy gay friend "OH HAYYY!" where you move your oversize Marc Jacobs and go in for very ostentatious air-kisses (oh yeah...like in Europe. wink.). You got the sarcastic i-waited-for-you-forever-why-the-eff-aren't-you-begging-for-forgiveness-at-my-royal-stillettos-now-im-pursing-my-lips-and-killing-you-with-my-stare "oh hey." when you're friend runs late or you're pissed at someone. And lastly, you have the ever-so casual, ever-so deceiving, "Oh...hey" where you have no idea what I really mean. But when I put a smiley face next to it, via texting, facebook chat, or...GASP...I accompany the "oh hey" with a real life, not virtual smile.... now THAT means something. It means I'm happy to see you/talk to you....it means I would like to see you/talk to you, but we're gonna be casual about it. After all, I hate to make a scene. :)

Technology is ruining relationships. Not just boyfriend/girlfriend, we-already-say-i-love-you relationships, but every relationship that hasn't been fully established. Texting is GREAT when you're in class, a loud concert, or a library, or pretty much any situation where talking on the phone is not accepted...but seriously, what ever happened to CALLING someone? Now when I meet a guy, it's "I'll text you tomorrow.".......Wow. Smooth. I'm swooning inside, can you tell? Men who might actually read this....call your girls. It takes actual effort, I know, but we would LOVE if you would call us to say "Hi" or see what we're doing next weekend, or anything you might text us about. Texting is SO impersonal. Like, I'm so sorry if I'm not totally in lust after you send me a text saying, "Yo." YO?? Seriously? And the saddest part is that millions of girls just wait and wait on that stupid text. We used to wait for calls, now we wait for one word text messages that only imply he's too big of a pansy to pick up the dang phone and have somewhat of an intelligent conversation with a pretty girl. Oh and texting has completely recvolutionized the booty call. It is now a booty text. And what does it mean when you text someone all day? What does it mean when you stop texting that someone? The lines have officially been blurred even more. Us single girls now have even more reasons to be confused. Great job, technology.

xoxo
K

choices

When God closes one door, he opens another. I have to remember that.

Today I'm leaving Austin for the next three months, and it's weird....I feel like I'm leaving home and going home at the same time. This place used to be like camp, super fun and awesome, but I was always ready to go home...because that's where I was raised. But as humans, we nest, and we create homes for ourselves wherever we go. Austin has become my second home...or my new one...which is better? Having a new home, which implies that you've left the old one, or a second home, which implies that you have a first one somewhere else, even though 3/4 of the year is spent at your second one? College isn't like camp anymore. When I first got there, that's literally what it felt like. Now it's like a way of life, something that I know will end, like high school, but it seems like it won't ever really get there. In two years I'll leave this place, and go to a new one. A scary, busy place without sweet tea and southern sunsets. Or maybe not. You never know.

I was asked the other day, "where do you see yourself in five years?" I couldn't answer. My life is a blank slate, it can go so many ways. On one hand I can see marriage, a picket fence, a puppy, and steady pay. On the other I can see art, warehouse lofts, cosmos, and starvation. Yet again I can see sun, a townhouse, a cat, and a dance studio on an incline. It's all an option. No doors are closed to us at this time. All my life I've only given myself one ooption-NYC. Now, I'm glad that I can step back and say, "Okay. I can do any of these. What do I really want?" I've got two years to find that answer.

My angel, my energy, my love.
K

p.s. IT IS SUMMER. Prepare for lots of happy posts. :)

almost there

Finals start tomorrow. I have three, one right after the other. Bam. Bam. Bam. 7-10 p.m. Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Spanish, Lit, and CHEMISTRY. Mother of God. If I was pregnant I would slip into labor. If I had a cholesterol problem I would have a heart attack. Just saying...
I'm a theatre major...I'm not equipped to handle so many final exams in one week. On top of that, I had like a bazillion tests and papers and whatnot last week. Who invented final exams? Like didn't I already get tested on this stuff? I did okay, why should I have to prove myself yet again? The teachers don't want to grade anymore, the students don't want to study anymore, why can't UT just let us be US and be FREE?
But alas, it is what it is. And I have tasks in front of me and like the strong-willed Wilson offspring that I am, I will accept the challenge, push through it, and then enjoy the bliss that follows...summer. Ah yes, my favorite thing (except Christmas) as you may have guessed form how much I've been writing on it lately.
I need to focus. Three more days of focusing. I got this....right?
I'm trying not to be so distracted. And it's all your fault san diego.

Did you know that it is possible to slip into a stress-induced coma?

I'm ready.
Ready to be home, to laugh and run and play and throw my stress out the window. Ready to be with family and old friends. Ready to be silly. Ready to embrace. Ready to spend some time with loved ones. Ready to embark on this journey. Ready to explore my home as a (practically) adult woman instead of the girl I left with. I'm not ready to leave this place, to be further away from new friends, to lose you. But I am ready to jump. I want to make this leap of faith, but I can't yet. It's going to take me months...or years...to actually do it.

But oh well, back to schoolwork.

Song lyrics in a sec,
K

oh, here they are:
:)

Say goodnight and go Skipping beats, flashing jeeps I am struggling
Daydreaming, been sitting, the corner cafe
And I'm left in bits, recovered tectonic, trembling
You get me every time
Why'd you have to be so cute It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go
Follow you home You've got your headphones on And your dancing
Got lucky, beautiful shot You're taking everything off Watch the curtains, wide open
And you fall in the same routine Flicking through the TV Relaxed and reclining
And you think you're alone
Oh why'd you have to be so cute It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go
One of these days You'll miss your train, and come stay with me
It's always say goodnight and go
We'll have drinks and talk about things And any excuse to stay awake with you
You'd sleep here, I'd sleep there
But then the heating may be down again At my convenience
We'd be good, we'd be great together
Go
Why'd you have to be so cute It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go
Why is it always, always Goodnight and Go
Goodnight and Go!

denied

Wow. Wowwwwww. What a life.
Denial is a funny thing. We deny realities almost everyday, or at least I do. Like now, for example- I'm denying the fact that my room isn't spotless, that I need to get up and go do a two hour workout, that it's finals week, and that life isn't filled with complications. Jus sayin.
BUT! I move home in six days. SIX. DAYS. That's insane. I'll be home for three months, loving life and doing what I'm best at--being in a theatre, dancing, loving, encouraging, helping, thriving, and LIVING. Waking up at 7 a.m. every day and going to a stupid spanish class is NOT living. Waking up at 7 a.m, making breakfast with my mom, driving in the sun and jamming out with my baby sis, running around the Rep all day, dashing to a jazz class, and going out with my best girls for a night of mayhem....THAT is living. And that's my summer. That would actually be a typical day. Plus riverfest, lake weekends, laying out, starbucks runs, shopping at the farmers market, running in the sprinklers late at night, getting home wayy too late, seeing old friends, sleepovers with Bridge, family dinners, driving with the windows down, ARKANSAS SUMMERS. What a life :)
Today, however, is a different story. Studystudystudy. SIGH.

Six days, three finals, one big move day,
K

P.S. also.....

You've got the best of both worlds. You're the kind of girl who can take down a man, And lift him back up again. You are strong but you're needy, Humble but you're greedy And based on your body language, And shoddy cursive I've been reading. Your style is quite selective, though your mind is rather reckless. Well I guess it just suggests that this is just what happiness is. Hey, what a beautiful mess this is...It's like picking up trash in dresses. Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write Kind of turn themselves into knives. And don't mind my nerve you could call it fiction, But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear....'Cause here we are, here we are. Although you were biased I love your advice. Your comebacks they're quick, And probably have to do with your insecurities. There's no shame in being crazy, Depending on how you take these words I'm paraphrasing, this relationship we're staging. And what a beautiful mess, yes it is. It's like picking up trash in dresses. Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say Kind of turn themselves into blades. And the kind and courteous is a life I've heard, But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt. Cause here, here we are, Here we are. Here we are....We're still here. What a beautiful mess, this is. It's like taking a guess when the only answer is "Yes." Through timeless words and priceless pictures We'll fly like birds not of this earth. And tides they turn and hearts disfigure, But that's no concern when we're wounded together. And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts But its nice today. Oh the way it was so worth it.