really great song I found on my ipod the other day: "Risque" by Cute Is What We Aim For

I got birds in my ears
And a devil on my shoulder
And a phone to the other
And I can't get a hold of her
And what's a crush to do?
And what's a crush to do when he can't get through?
Medically speaking you're adorable
And from what I hear you're quite affordable
But I like them pricey so exaggerate and t-t-t-t-t-t-trick me
Pretty please, just trick me. Pretty please...
I got birds in my ears and a devil on my shoulder
And a phone to the other And I can't get a hold of her
And what's a crush to do?
And what's a crush to do when he can't get through?
I'm obsessed and stressed with this mess
I can't think of things to write down, to type down
And these fingertips are moving faster than these lips
So you can only imagine how jealous my mouth is
So you can only imagine how jealous my mouth is

Sounds pretty desperate to me. But it also sounds endearing, heartfelt, stricken, starved, passionate, deep, fun, flirty, conniving, scandalous, loving, true. All adjectives that us theatre kids adore. Have someone in mind?

Sitting outside of my chemistry class, wasting time listening to music when I should be doing homework...You know what I miss most? Summer. Driving around with my windows and sunroof down, singing at the top of my lungs to some great song with magnificent swells and beats like "Risque," letting the sun hit my face and the humidity rush into my car like steam out of a kettle. I miss the way my hair feels after I lay in the sun and let the chlorine from the swimming pool sink in, causing the most uncanny golden softness. I miss going out on the boat and jumping into the ice cold lake where the temperature of the water truly takes your breath away... praying a fish doesn't try to nibble off my toes. I miss dancing in the 3rd floor rehearsal room of the Arkansas Rep with zero air conditioning in the middle of July, sweating, smiling, and producing endorphins like you can't even imagine. I miss taking the kids I nanny to museums and movies and zoos. I miss going to movies at night just to feel the freezing cold air hit you in the dark. I miss sleeping with the fan on and the windows open, hearing the crickets and stillness of the heat at night. I miss watching my skin get darker and my hair get lighter in the sunlight. I miss the feeling of climbing to the very top of pinnicle and feeling the breeze hit you over all the treetops of Little Rock. I miss walking up and down the Rivermarket to find trinkets and visit friends at work. I miss riverfest, and the fair, and my home. I miss the smell of my car, and my kitchen, and my room. I miss calling 8000 friends and having an impromptu pool party. All of this is just within reach...only 5 short weeks...And I can guarantee that I WON'T MISS SCHOOL.

I think I have summer fever. Not that I hate UT or anything, I love it. I love my time here, it's wonderful, it's just right now it's so...stressful. And I'm ready for a hot, sticky, fun-filled summer where I can work on my craft and towards my passion rather than simply passing the next chemistry test. You know what I mean? I can spend real time with my old friends and family and really live every day exactly the way I want to live it. My job is amazing, my friends are incredible, and my parents are just...wow. And I only have to worry about one online class. Bliss. This semester is crazy. 20 hours?? What was I thinking? I guess sometimes you have to deal with things you don't want to. That's just how life is. But not anymore. Life is too short to waste your time. We should be enjoying and living and loving and laughing, not...complaining and stressing about things we can't change. Why can't everyone just be happy?

"Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?—every, every minute?"- Thornton Wilder, Our Town

"So life moves slowly when you're waiting for it to boil, feel like I watch from 6 feet under the soil." Ingrid Michaelson, Starting Now

"Quit hanging on to the handrails . . . Let go. Surrender. Go for the ride of your life. Do it every day." Melody Beattie, "Finding Your Way Home"

"Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you deal with it is what makes the difference." Virginia Satir


"What if the hokey-pokey is really what it's all about?" Unknown

Great words to think about,
K