HOL' UP.

I keep having these dreams about my future. I'm in this adorable little house, with my husband. The first one is where we are having a party with all of our friends, celebrating something and laughing for hours. I'm about 25 years old, somewhere in a little neighborhood, newly married. The second one was a little scarier....I'm in the same house a few years later, sitting at the kitchen table, grading tests...maybe lower school or middle school level. A little girl around three runs up to my legs and squeezes them tightly...she looks exactly like me. As I hug my daughter, I think out loud to my husband (who is cooking dinner) about what Bible verses I'm going to cover in small group next Sunday because I'm worried about one of the girls and her relationship. I glance down at my left ring finger as my husband gives me his ideas. I never see his face, but I know I am deeply, passionately in love with him, my job, my family, my church, my God, and my LIFE.

WAITJUSTAMINUTE. So...I'm married, with a daughter, teaching little kids, leading small group at a church, in a cute little house, in Suburbia, U.S.A...WHAT THE HECK.

I've always had dreams of stardom, or struggle to become the best, to sing my heart out. But now all I can think about is that future of a family and serving others through God and teaching.
I don't know if I'm in a funk or if I just don't know where I belong, but I know one thing...I was happy. So happy in my dream that I am seriously considering giving up my dream of Broadway to have a stable, healthy life with a family and money and all the things normal people have. (You see...there are theatre people, and there are normal people. That's just the way it is.) Of course I would never give up my passion and I'm sure I'll always be involved with it somehow, but maybe I'm not cut out to do the starving-artist thing. I mean, come on, a girl's gotta eat.

I think I'm growing up.
Crap.

K